So, people could throw false law at me, yell at me all of which made me suspicious and worried and made me protective and desperate, but I screwed up? I was frightened to death and wanted to save someone I care about, yet I am the bad guy? I was never told any rules, etc, yet I was supposed to understand? I think that instead of it making me a dumbass, or bad, why doesn't show that I would do anything for someone I care about, even at the risk my own safety? So, I have added on more time, because I worried? That is crazy. I can be beaten up and taunted and that is okay, but my trying to protect a loved one gets me punished? Wow. I hope you see the wrong in that. All I knew was it was false law and it scared me. Does no one care how sad and in such despair it has made me? It is like being told to win a chess tournament without ever knowing how to play....or the rules. I don't feel like a fool, I feel like people got a thrill from my suffering and the precious time off of my life. What sadistic people created this? I have lived an absolute, horrific nightmare. I guess I just sit here and wait for what ever cruel thing happens next? I have been sobbing my eyes out for days and am so tired I can barely stand it and I am the one who is punished?

My disgust is endless. My health has suffered. This was a terrible joke and not funny. It was grown up bullying. I am angry. Life is short enough and I have had horror through much of it. All I can say is fuck you to everyone who made me suffer and want to die many times over. It was inhumane.
Cp

I don't understand. I guess I don't belong in this world. No one cares how much I hurt. I could never allow that for anyone else. I care about people. I cannot process this. C
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On Wed, Oct 9, 2019, 6:14 AM Haviva von Martinitz <countessprague@gmail.com> wrote:
So, people could throw false law at me, yell at me all of which made me suspicious and worried and made me protective and desperate, but I screwed up? I was frightened to death and wanted to save someone I care about, yet I am the bad guy? I was never told any rules, etc, yet I was supposed to understand? I think that instead of it making me a dumbass, or bad, why doesn't show that I would do anything for someone I care about, even at the risk my own safety? So, I have added on more time, because I worried? That is crazy. I can be beaten up and taunted and that is okay, but my trying to protect a loved one gets me punished? Wow. I hope you see the wrong in that. All I knew was it was false law and it scared me. Does no one care how sad and in such despair it has made me? It is like being told to win a chess tournament without ever knowing how to play....or the rules. I don't feel like a fool, I feel like people got a thrill from my suffering and the precious time off of my life. What sadistic people created this? I have lived an absolute, horrific nightmare. I guess I just sit here and wait for what ever cruel thing happens next? I have been sobbing my eyes out for days and am so tired I can barely stand it and I am the one who is punished?
My disgust is endless. My health has suffered. This was a terrible joke and not funny. It was grown up bullying. I am angry. Life is short enough and I have had horror through much of it. All I can say is fuck you to everyone who made me suffer and want to die many times over. It was inhumane.
Cp

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