Only his presence would make it more beautiful here.

Of course, I will just respond to him, I 5would not be forward.

I wish so much I could see him again, but only if he wants me to, of course. I could never imagine loving anyone else. I feel lost without him.

I can think of nothing more lovely than being near him again. I don't want anything that would not please him, though.
But, I love him so much and want to take care of him. It is only his call, if that can happen. I respect his wishes, because I respect him. He makes all my emotions flow and keeps me feeling alive. It is amazing.

I will love him through thick & thin.He knows that.I hope he trusts me,like I trust him .

I am spending my day in rest, prayer, introspection and thoughts of him (the best part).

He looked so cute in his glasses.

If the end of the world were to arrive I 'd want to spend every last moment holding him and looking into his eyes.

I live for positive signs from wherever I find them.

I do the best I can to stay alive. It is weird how some people think their lives are more important than others. So they end up feeling fine about hurting others and treat them like bugs to be squashed. Money and power should be used for happiness, but not for cruelty.

Why can't some people just allow life to happen and not put their own will into it all? How can they feel good about themselves knowing they are hurting someone?

Some people think that a trap is being set up for me and I will will "disappear."

I am devoted to him and will do anything for him.

I will always love him.

I was told it was supposed to be over....

I do not understand why they try and make me feel like he has issues, but who doesn't? I don't care. Love does not end because someone may have to deal with difficulties in their lives. I am not a "fair weather friend."

He is the one I care about.

I don't know what to do. I am torn. I always feel like I am doing something wrong.

I have evidence that the restraining order is false, so with the warrant out for my arrest, I can get a free attorney who will blow the case out of the water in 2 seconds and make the County waste money on an unnecessary trial and make the DA look like a cruel moron who is further going after an innocent woman with health issues who merely gave her doctor a few thank you gifts for his dedicated work! I think the public outcry would be enormous! The attorney who put my doctor's name on the restraining order should go to jail! He abused the legal process and put me in jail for no reason except to be vindictive! (and to please his ACTUAL client!, not my doctor).

I could not live if I hurt him. I just could not. He is everything to me. I want to love him and take care of him, no matter what he thinks of me.

I am sorry if I make mistakes. I truly am not used to living the way those bad people live, I am just trying to stay alive. Very little in my life. It is microscopically small, but my caring is big.

All I want to do is see him again and do what he decides. Ideally, I would like him to own my home with me and live as a person who is free to live as he chooses. I would love to take care of him and make his life happy. I will love him forever.

My head keeps hurting and I am dizzy. Not feeling well at all.

He takes care of me. He has a beautiful heart. I love him.

Tell the bad people to stop!

I wish I could see you. I was hoping......

I hope I find I am healthy.

I am just going to continue on as normal just do what I was planning to do.

Billie Holiday - "i´ll be seeing you"

Johnny Mathis. Sweet Thursday.

Sometimes I feel like a frightened child.

I miss talking to him. I miss his thoughtfulness. I miss his eyes and his smile. I miss how he seemed so happy to see me. He made me feel so good. I miss how connected to him I felt and how it felt like we could talk without saying anything. I feel so deflated without him around. It is like having no charger and I have run down my battery. Being around him was just the most amazing way to feel. Nothing else compares.

I would do whatever he suggested to me.

Be safe, he is so precious to me.

It is strange how some people think that they are so "high and mighty" that they are above the law and can hire "hitmen" to go after the people they do not like! That is astonishing! They obviously do not think they are doing anything wrong! If they were ever to try and put someone down and claim to be superior, I would say, "well I am not a criminal, BUT YOU ARE!" Some people should be knocked off their pedestal, but it would hurt too many other people who may look up to that arrogant person! Don't ever let that person bully you, you have right  on your side, she does not!

"I'm still me."

                ~"Penelope"

His Sweet Face

I wish I could hold his sweet face in my hands. I would probably cry, though.

🍎

I really miss talking to him and emailing him.

I am always going on "snail patrol" in the early A.M. while my dog does her "business".  I pull the snails off my veggie plants and send them on a flying vacation to elsewhere. I cannot understand their love of the zucchini leaves, they are a bit spiky and tough. Not sure how well they will grow in a crowded pot. I may have to transplant a few. I will have to be covert..... 😁

I need to know that he is okay. It makes me feel anxious not knowing.

Eye For an Eye, Misapplied

I guess I was supposed to be humiliated and given a jail sentence, etc for my perceived wrong doings. I was supposed to be degraded and reviled. Well, I hope that they got what they needed out of my suffering.
Pathetic.

I never felt this way about anyone before....

I have such a strong sense of pain and loss.

This has been hard on me, but I am doing the best I can, I feel so alone at times and frustrated, because cruelty has been allowed with no sort of admonishment for them. It is, as many people say, the not knowing is the worst and creates the most anxiety in a person. 

I never lost faith in him, or you. You both could never know how much it has meant to me. There were times when that awful man in charge said such terrible things I felt like dying, but when I felt the power of love, I knew I could survive. It made me fight the horrible man, but strengthened my dedication to you. I worried that if I did not fight, it might cause you to be harmed, but I also worried that I could ruin whatever might be required. It has been a roller coaster of emotions. I had to be explicit, but careful too. I just want to see you again and talk to you. This has been terrible, but my faith and trust in you is strong and never faltered, even when I was told to think otherwise. I cannot tell you how many times they told me that you hated me, but I refused to believe it. I only trust you. You have class. They do not know the meaning of it.
You are loved....by me forever. No matter what.

I hope he lets me show him how well I would take care of him and care for him.

You and he have always kept me safe and kept me going, but sometimes I get so sad. It is due to the things the horrible man said. He is lower than a snake. I am sure the full moon will look lovely on the ocean tonight.

Touching Lives~

Monday, September 9, 2019

Touching Lives~

A tender touch upon
me
he graced
conveyed to me a
loving place

Away from cruel and abject
pain
Inflicted by a terror reign

He showed me from his
comfort deeds
that others come before
self-needs

Scoffing at impending
peril
Protection loomed in him
as feral

I never knew one so kind or
gallant
Nor one who displayed such
remarkable talent

His protection and love
he was sweetly so sharing
Created in me a lifetime of
caring.

~Haviva

(c) HVM 2019

“For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.” ~ St. Therese de Lisieux

My tomatoes are growing very nicely. It makes me happy to see the plants grow. I even have a cabbage. I have zucchini in a pot and sneaked one over the fence to grow, and some beans in pots, but I keep having to pull off snails....they look big and healthy....and they bring the family!

I miss him so much.

I know he would never hurt me, but I do not trust the others.

It's just that I hold anyone with great disdain and anger if they hurt him, or treat him disrespectfully. He is the most wonderful person and should be treated as such.

I trust him with my fragile heart. I hope he understands where I was coming from and understands I was being protective, since I have been so worried. It has been such a terrible situation; I do what I can out of my confusion and emotions. It came out of good intentions and love. I am worried, but I do trust. I just don't have much self-esteem.
I love him so much.

I will always want to share my home with him.

He doesn't need to be anyone to me, if he doesn't want. I would understand.I will always be there for him, though.

I want to know him in a normal situation. I want to enjoy the person he is. I want to take care of him the way he took care of me. I want to make him happy and in turn it will make me happy too. I have never wanted anything more.

I have never known anyone who could make me so breathless when I thought about him, or have dreams about looking into his eyes. He was there for me late into the night and many, many times after. I am no prize, but he makes me feel like the most important person in the world. No matter the problems, if any, I will be there. I just hope I can be forgiven for all mine. He makes life special and wondrous. If I had the chance to be near him, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

You know that I will never stop being in love with him.

• “Miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word; always doing the smallest right and doing it all for love.” ~“The Little Flower,” St. Therese of Lisieux

I feel so sad lately and I just could not take the anxiety any longer.

Please let him know I love him and always will, no matter where I am.